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MOVEMENT OF BELGIAN FORMER MUSLIMS
STUDY OF ISLAM
Marriage in Islam
One of the most beautiful verses in the Koran pertains to marriage and reads as follows:
30:21 And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.
As usual, the beautiful verses in the Koran are overshadowed by the raw reality found in other verses, but especially in the traditions handed down from Muhammad. This reality happens to be a lot less romantic than what might be assumed from the above.
Muhammad held to the idea that marriage was a formal way to engage in a legal and controlled manner in sexual intercourse. As such it appears in the following two Hadith:
Bukhari 7.62.4: ‘Abdullah has handed down to us: “We were together with the Prophet when we were young and had no possession. Allah’s Apostle said, “O ye young people! Those amongst you that can get married should do so, since it helps to cast downward glances and retains your chastity (this is to protect them from illicit sexual intercourse), and those that cannot marry must fast, since fasting diminishes one’s sexual potency.”
Bukhari 7.64.280: Jabir bin ‘Abdullah has handed down to us: “My father passed away and left behind seven or nine young girls and I married a woman [who had been married before, hence a widow or a divorcee]. Allah’s Apostle told me, “O Jabir! Are you married?” I said, “Yes .” He said, “A virgin or a woman?” I replied, “A woman.” He said, “Why not a virgin so you can play with her and she with you, and both of you can take their pleasure.” I said, “ ‘Abdullah (my father) passed away and left me girls, and I did not wish to marry a girl like them, therefore I married a woman that would be able to take care of them.” Thereupon he said, “The blessing of Allah be upon you,” or “That is good.”
This latter Hadith makes it appear that Muhammad, in the choice of a marriage partner, spontaneously thought of young girls for the purpose of “playing” with them. And he assumed thus that every man would be so inclined (the self-reference criterion). Jabir, the person whom the Hadith refers to, rather considered the well-being of the individuals under his care and the qualities he considered valuable in a woman, namely to look after his sisters rather than the gratification of his sexual lust. In a sense then, he is putting Muhammad in his place. After being faced with the reality of the situation, Muhammad approved of his conduct.
In Islamic language usage, there are two words for marriage, zawwadj and nikah. The Arabic word “nikah” actually means sexual relationship. The use of this word in the sense of ’marriage’ indicates that the prime purpose for the marriage institution is to have sex.
The dowry, “mahr” in Arabic
In Islamic language usage, there are two words for marriage, zawwadj and nikah. The Arabic word “nikah” actually means sexual relationship. The use of this word in the sense of ’marriage’ indicates that the prime purpose for the marriage institution is to have sex.
The dowry, “mahr” in Arabic
On contracting marriage, the husband presents his wife with a wedding gift, her dowry. This gift is an integral part of the wedding contract. Muslims say that the husband gives his wife a gift as a token of his respect for her. And this is meant to demonstrate once more that Islam greatly honours women.
However, the reality is rather more devoid of sentimental delicacy than they would have us believe with this fable. This wedding present is actually intimately tied to sex, hence being a payment for the wife’s sexual favours and specifically with regard to the first time that a husband engages in sexual intercourse with the woman. This is not our own take on the issue but, as you will see infra, it is noted down like that in the Koran.
The wedding gift, her dowry, is meant to become exclusively the possession of the wife and if the husband does not immediately pay it, it is a debt he incurs towards her. The common profession that Muslims sell their daughters is not correct. The money is not meant for the father but for the daughter who is getting married. For the father, it may be a way to strengthen the bond with a business relation or with a friend. The amount of the gift depends on the status of the woman, meaning it is tied to the market value of the social class to which she belongs, which thus determines her own market value.
Verse 4.24 talks about the wedding gift (dower) as compensation for the benefits a man derives from his wife. What those benefits are is not actually specified.
However, the reality is rather more devoid of sentimental delicacy than they would have us believe with this fable. This wedding present is actually intimately tied to sex, hence being a payment for the wife’s sexual favours and specifically with regard to the first time that a husband engages in sexual intercourse with the woman. This is not our own take on the issue but, as you will see infra, it is noted down like that in the Koran.
The wedding gift, her dowry, is meant to become exclusively the possession of the wife and if the husband does not immediately pay it, it is a debt he incurs towards her. The common profession that Muslims sell their daughters is not correct. The money is not meant for the father but for the daughter who is getting married. For the father, it may be a way to strengthen the bond with a business relation or with a friend. The amount of the gift depends on the status of the woman, meaning it is tied to the market value of the social class to which she belongs, which thus determines her own market value.
Verse 4.24 talks about the wedding gift (dower) as compensation for the benefits a man derives from his wife. What those benefits are is not actually specified.
4.24. ..., give them their dowers [at least] as prescribed; but if, after a dower is prescribed, agree Mutually [to vary it], there is no blame on you, and Allah is All-knowing, All-wise.
Verse 4.20 states that the husband who divorces his wife (exchanges his wife for another) may not reclaim the wedding gift:
4.20. But if ye decide to take one wife in place of another, even if ye had given the latter a whole treasure for dower, Take not the least bit of it back: Would ye take it by slander and manifest wrong?
Verse 4.21 bluntly states that the husband may not reclaim his wedding gift after having had sex with his wife (or ‘to go into one another’ as it is called in our translation). We do know then that “the benefits the man derives from the woman” is sex and once he has had sex (consummation) with her, his money is gone.
4.21. And how could ye take it when ye have gone in unto each other, and they have Taken from you a solemn covenant?
On this aspect, the scholars of the Shariah have worked out a law that contains the following striking points:
1- a married woman can refuse to submit to sex for as long as she has not received her wedding gift under the principle “first the money, then sex”.
2- a married woman who is still waiting for her wedding gift but nonetheless submits to her husband for sex cannot subsequently deny him. But the husband still owes her the wedding gift.
3- in case a couple is married, but the amount of the wedding gift has not been established and the man divorces his wife before there have been sexual relations, the man owes her a gift. This is stated in the following Koran verse:
2.236. There is no blame on you if ye divorce women before consummation or the fixation of their dower; but bestow on them [A suitable gift], the wealthy according to his means, and the poor according to his means;- A gift of a reasonable amount is due from those who wish to do the right thing.
4- in case a couple is married, and the amount of the wedding gift has been established and the man divorces his wife before there have been sexual relations, the man owes her half of the wedding gift. This is stated in the following Koran verse:
2.237. And if ye divorce them before consummation, but after the fixation of a dower for them, then the half of the dower [Is due to them], unless they remit it or [the man's half] is remitted by him in whose hands is the marriage tie; and the remission [of the man's half] is the nearest to righteousness. And do not forget Liberality between yourselves. For Allah sees well all that ye do.
Maintenance of the wife/wives
A husband is responsible for his wife’s (or wives, case pertaining) maintenance. The condition is that she allows her husband the “enjoyment” of her body whenever he feels like it. It appears here again that the money spent by the husband on his wife has to do with sex. Read more about this here. In the Shariah, everything concerning this topic is explained in detail.
That Muhammad considered sex the primary pre-
'Uqba has reported: “The Prophet has said: "The provisions (of the marriage contract) which are the most important to follow are those that entitle you to enjoy the intimate parts of the body of a woman." “
Marriage of children
The media regularly report on topics like this one:
A ten-
These kinds of reports have been responsible for Islam’s unsavoury reputation in the West. In general, the reporters of such juicy items are held responsible for the negative news rather than the individuals that are actually involved in these reprehensible practices and, likewise, even more than the individuals that have dressed up these practices as religious customs, one of these, to wit, being Muhammad himself.
Media news such as the above example are in our 21st century so blatantly absurd that Muslims in the West do not really have a big problem in convincing non-
In Islam, there is no minimum age-
Since, in Islam, the man is the breadwinner, under-
Where then is it written that children can be married off prior to their puberty?
Koran verse 65.4 speaks about taking into consideration a waiting period after divorce before a girl that has not experienced menstruation is allowed to remarry:
65.4: Such of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them the prescribed period, if ye have any doubts, is three months, and for those who have no courses [it is the same]: for those who carry [life within their wombs], their period is until they deliver their burdens: and for those who fear Allah, He will make their path easy.
The Koran thus starts from the premise that a girl who has not yet menstruated can become pregnant (hence following sexual intercourse at the very first ovulation). This implies that sexual intercourse prior to puberty is allowed.
The leading Koran commentary of Ibn Kathir affirms that Koran verse 65.4 does indeed deal with girls that have not yet experienced their first menstruation and that could be pregnant. Read more about this in the following link.
This does not exclude that most Islamic nations have introduced a minimum age closer to 18 rather than 10 years. For Islamic scholars, the absence of a minimum marriage age is rather a major source of shame and, when asked, they will generally use circumventions by saying that “according to Islam, the family always needs to consider the best interest of the girl”, that a girl can only be married off when she is “ready for marriage”, that in the West, local law needs to be adhered to ...
An example of this “beating around the bush” can be found in the following link. Ali Gomaa, the grand Mufti of Egypt (the highest religious authority), refuses to respond to the question about his standpoint concerning a conflict with the Shariah in the matter of increasing the minimum age for marriage to 18 years in Egypt. He keeps giving evasive answers until the journalist finally gives up.
The great problem as it pertains to the minimum marriage age is the example of Muhammad himself, which is well documented and lies at the basis of the Shariah. We refer here to his marriage to Aisha when she was six years of age.
Chapter 10 of Book 8 of the influential Hadith of Muslim even bears the title:
Chapter 10: IT IS PERMISSIBLE FOR THE FATHER TO GIVE THE HAND OF HIS DAUGHTER IN MARRIAGE EVEN WHEN SHE IS NOT FULLY GROWN UP
Striking in this is the following:
The leading Koran commentary of Ibn Kathir affirms that Koran verse 65.4 does indeed deal with girls that have not yet experienced their first menstruation and that could be pregnant. Read more about this in the following link.
This does not exclude that most Islamic nations have introduced a minimum age closer to 18 rather than 10 years. For Islamic scholars, the absence of a minimum marriage age is rather a major source of shame and, when asked, they will generally use circumventions by saying that “according to Islam, the family always needs to consider the best interest of the girl”, that a girl can only be married off when she is “ready for marriage”, that in the West, local law needs to be adhered to ...
An example of this “beating around the bush” can be found in the following link. Ali Gomaa, the grand Mufti of Egypt (the highest religious authority), refuses to respond to the question about his standpoint concerning a conflict with the Shariah in the matter of increasing the minimum age for marriage to 18 years in Egypt. He keeps giving evasive answers until the journalist finally gives up.
The great problem as it pertains to the minimum marriage age is the example of Muhammad himself, which is well documented and lies at the basis of the Shariah. We refer here to his marriage to Aisha when she was six years of age.
Chapter 10 of Book 8 of the influential Hadith of Muslim even bears the title:
Chapter 10: IT IS PERMISSIBLE FOR THE FATHER TO GIVE THE HAND OF HIS DAUGHTER IN MARRIAGE EVEN WHEN SHE IS NOT FULLY GROWN UP
Striking in this is the following:
- there does not exist a minimum marriage age
- there is no question of the girl having to give her consent
'Aisha has handed down to us: that the Prophet married her when she was six years of age and that he “consummated” their marriage when she was nine, and that thereafter she remained with him for nine years (e.g., until his death).
Noted herewith is that the marriage contract was drawn up when she was six years old and certainly had not reached the age of puberty and that Muhammad enjoyed sex with her when she was nine years old and, presumably (although this is never affirmed), mature enough for this sexual experience. In the practice, little girls will only be sent to their husbands (to cohabit with their husbands) at the time of their first menstruation, but, according to the Koran, this may well happen earlier.
As a practical rule, in the Islamic Republic of Iran the minimum age for girls to be married off is nine years, after which they can be sent to their husbands. The drawing up of the marriage contract and the actual act of cohabitation may then coincide. In 2010, 716 girls younger than 10 had wed.
It is explained about Muhammad’s marriage to the six-
If all of the prescriptions are being examined within their cultural context and, upon scrutiny, being abolished when they are irreconcilable with our conscience, it won’t be long before nothing much remains of Islamic faith. Obviously, Islamic scholars are only too eager to keep this from happening.
Consent of a girl/woman to a marriage
The principle is that a woman be married off, irrespective of her age. But note! To be married off does not necessarily mean that the marriage is enforced. It only means that she does not herself draw up the marriage contract.
The following principles apply :
Prior to puberty, the father himself decides to marry off his daughter or to request a divorce. This is based upon the case of Aisha as documented above.
After puberty, it is customary for an unmarried girl to give her tacit consent. When she does not object to the marriage, it is then declared valid. In practice, a 14-year old girl hardly knows what is happening when she becomes aware she is being given in marriage. Sometimes, awareness dawns when the young girl finds herself on her wedding night alone with her brand new husband inside the bridle suite.
- when the woman is divorced or a widow, she needs to give her consent.
Abu Huraira has handed down to us: The Prophet said, "A previously married woman can only be married off after she has been consulted, and a virgin/ girl cannot be given in marriage except with her consent." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How do we know she gives her consent?" He replied to them, "Her silence (signifies her consent)."